ending 2010 with a bang!

picture: http://www1.sulekha.com/mstore/bhavna14/albums/default/cheers.jpg

so once again, we are about to end one year of our life and start again a newer one.

2010 has been a great year for me. i have experienced lots and lots and countless of ups and downs; of difficulties, hardships and (sort of) suffering. but yet again, i still have more reasons to celebrate love and life itself.

this year has been tough indeed. but i guess, all the things that i experienced this year have contributed more to what i am now and to what i will become. this year has not been so good -- i've encountered lots of fights and misunderstandings (even with someone superior than me); i've experienced almost-friendship-breakup; i did cry a lot; i did get angry often; i complained countlessly; i blamed people; i've learned to hate much and get jealous; and i've learned to fight even if i was wrong.

but above all these, i still have numerous reasons why i should be happy and thankful.

firstly, i always have my family beside me, ready to support and love me despite my bad attitude (hehe).

secondly, i have friends who know i am not a good person, but still stick with me through tough times.

thirdly, i have someone whom i love and although we can't be together forever, but still he's there, as my friend.

lastly, God has showered countless blessings to me this year.. they are too many to mention. i haven't even thanked some of which. but for some reason, God still remembers to show goodness to my life. to name a few, thank God for the good health (although sometimes it's not really good). i may get sick, but good thing my health hasn't failed me, even once (and i hope it won't ever fail me). thank God for the strength of getting up early, spending more than 12 hours at school, learning, listening, coming home late, studying and sleeping late. i can say that i really am gifted with strength. biruin mo nga naman, i can survive a day even with just 1 hour and 30 minute sleep! just imagine. :) thank God for the unfailing gift of knowledge and talents that i sometimes take for granted and fail to recognize. thank God for allowing me to complete 9mornings of misa de gallo. thank God for allowing me to pass the first semester of my third year life (of which really is not an easy job). and of course, thank God for letting me pass the AYLC, of which i consider to be a great gift sent from above.

and also, let me not forget the many people, God has let me share my time with this 2010.

Abapo Family - the people who are always there by my side even if times go wrong; the people who never cease to dream and help me achieve the dreams of my own; the people who help me nourish myself, as a daughter, as a sibling and as an individual.

Dahly Vie Padillo - the ever dearest sister (almost biological sister, if only God has allowed it). we may not have spent some good quality time. but i know, deep in our hearts, we know that we are sisters, and that will never change, of course, and that even through the test of time, our love for each other will remain. i do promise to make it up with you, when the very right time comes.

Gummy Bears - for the company and everything too many to mention.

Avon Mae Sedantes - soul sister. for the love and understanding; for the support and care; for helping me go through every heartache; for the everything that we have shared; for keeping me company; for listening when i cry; for the hug whenever i need one; for the laughters shared whenever i am sad; for the warm smile right enough just when i need it; for the push in the back whenever i fell like i am failing; for the words of encouragement whenever fear creeps my system; for always believing in me and in the things that i am capable of doing and achieving. you are a sister, and that will never change.

MLS Family - for the warm support, laughters, good and bad experiences together; for the kabuang moments in and out of the classroom; for the good, and even bad things that have been said.

Ed Christian Yaranon - for the love; for being a best friend; for the time spent together; for all the laughters; for the libre; for the support (even if you don't really express it that much); for the care; for the texting moments; for the messages sent; for the stories shared; for the warm hug; and for all that has been said. i hope to share more bonding moments with you bessy!

and the other people whose names are not mentioned here: THANK YOU. this year has been good enough for me to realize that life indeed is GREAT.

cheers for us this coming year. may 2011 not only be a prosperous year for us all, but also a fruitful one. may we always find happiness, joy and love in every experience that we are to have this coming year.

KAMPAiii!

what if?

what and if are two words that are not as threatening as words come. but if you put them side by side, it will have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life. what if? -- Letters to Juliet

i'm supposed to be preparing and reflecting over the pre-work given to us by the AYLC secretariat. i'm supposed to be doing my blood smears. i'm supposed to be studying AUBF and hematology. i'm supposed to be reading literature about our thesis paper. and i'm not supposed to be thinking about him.

as i rummage my thoughts today, and as i watch the movie Enchanted, i can't help but think of the memories that i am able to share with this little special someone who has been a great part of my life ever since i knew how love feels.

well, you can't really say whom you'll fall in love with, right?

it's been a while since i checked my heart of it's status. and well, nothing has changed, and i guess, it will not change, yet.

so, what if? what if i will really fall for him so deeply? what if i'll never get over this feeling? what if i will always love him even after years? and what if he'll be able to find the girl of his dreams? what will happen to me then?

confused, with nowhere to go, that's how i perfectly describe myself now. it's not that i'm bothered because he and i can't be together forever. well, i just don't know what will happen to me when the time comes that the two of us have to go on our separate ways.

i know there's no way for me to get what i really want. i know that isn't the plan God has set for me. he has his life to live; i have my own too. and too bad we don't meet at the point which i consider to be magical.

friends. yes, that's how we ought to become forever. friends. yes, that's what we are to each other. best friends. yes, that's what we will be for the rest of our lives.

looking on the other side of the story.. what if? what if he will fall for me too? what if it has been decided that we will be together forever? what if destiny works out for me? what if??

but i know it's not happening and it will never happen. and so what? i am contented of where i am now. i have him after all: HE IS MY BESTFRIEND :)

love may not work the way i want it to. but one thing i have learned is that in love, people don't really have to engage themselves in a committed relationship -- as long as there is this bond of connection between two hearts; as long as two hearts care for each other; as long as love never fades over time, even miles apart.

so now... what if?

big things come in small packages

MERRY CHRISTMAS! :)

the things that matter most in our lives don't really have to come in big surprises. christmas isn't really about having all these earthly things that we always want. simple things matter. and in these simple things come the great  gift that we always have wanted.

this christmas season has taught me to be happy and to enjoy the simple things around me, to appreciate and make people smile in the simplest way that i can and to enjoy the fullness of God's love and life itself.

celebrating this season with a complete family is one of the greatest gifts i could ever receive from up above. the experience is different; the happiness is incomparable.

God is really giving me reasons to continue and enjoy life the way it is. there are a lot more to discover and to celebrate.

celebrate life. celebrate love.

PARTEEEY!

an advanced christmas gift

after almost a month of waiting, the results have finally come! :) it was so sudden. it came like a lightning. i was surprised, of course and i wasn't really expecting for it. of course, who would have. after all, passing the interview, as said by kuya darren, is like a magic -- no one really knows, except for the panelists themselves, and don jaime as well, how and why one gets into the AYALA YOUNG LEADERS CONGRESS.

that is why, it is such a great privilege as i was able to receive this:

and it started with..

Congratulations! I am pleased to inform you that you have been chosen as one of the 81 delegates to the 13th National Ayala Young Leaders Congress (AYLC 20100).

and yeeeeeeeessss! i made it! i made it! I DID MAKE IT AND I DID WELL! i can never believe it! who would have thought that i can make it all this way? that i can reach this far?

it's really like a magic. it's a magic how one passes the interview phase! :)

signed and given by:

thanks to the love letter from DON JAIME AUGUSTO ZOBEL de AYALA II, now i have another reason to celebrate and be happy for this christmas! :) this is such a very wonderful gift. and God knows how i appreciate this! :)

i look forward to seeing Don Jaime in the congress also! :) i hope i can shake hands with him.

after all, GOD is GREAT, as always. and HE knows what's best for me. THANKYOU LORD!

KUDOOOOOOS MADHEL! great job! :)

~now let's celebrate. PARTEEEEEEEEYYYY!!

Christmas in our hearts

ten days from now, and we will all be celebrating the day that our Lord Jesus Christ was born. his birth marks a significant event not only for the fact that 25th of December is a holiday, but because his birthday signifies how lucky we are to have enjoyed the salvific grace and love of God.

as we prepare ourselves for the coming of our savior, have we, even once this advent season, reflected on how our life have been? have we asked forgiveness from those that we have hurt? have we said our grateful thanks for those who have played a great part in our lives? have we sought peace in our hearts and minds? have we... even just for once, offered our whole selves for the love of God??

so, before i miss this whole opportunity... let me..

first, THANKYOU for everyone who has been a part of my life. for the people i love and those who love me.. for the people who care... and even those who hate me to death, thankyou. your existence has contributed a lot to what i am now and to what i will become.

second, SORRY for all the shortcomings and weaknesses i've shown. i apologize for being so maarte, oa, annoying, bossy, feelingera, hambugera, yawyawera, palaaway, sumbungera, reklamador, irresponsible, iyakin, sabaan, samukan and all that i am. i can't force you to accept me for what i am, but at least, let me thank you for the effort of trying to like me, somehow. i can't afford to change in an instant. i am who i am. i am not better than anyone else and i cant be good enough. so.. im sorry. it's the simplest thing i can do.

this season is the perfect timing for us to reflect over things and to ponder upon our lives. we may have not been the best for this year, but at least we've tried to be good. let's seek for the peace and harmony that our hearts always long for. let's live in the glory and love of God.

wishing for a very merry Christmas for everyone.

GREY'S ANATOMY -- reposted from KYLA GUiLLEN

1. A man won't let go if he really loves you. Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is another reason he is not willing to tell.

2. Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship. There is only one reason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do not waste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done. Move on and be open to a man who will truly love you.

3. Do not get hung up on your past. Do not nag or distrust your current boyfriend just because your ex hurt you. Do not treat him or the relationship the same way. Do not compare. He will not react the same way as your ex. Do not be worried that your simple mistakes will cause him to look for another girl. What happened with your ex was not your fault. It was not because you didn't guard him enough or you didn't make him happy enough.

4. Do not look into images. How many times have you met a girl who didn't have the best image in school or at the office, but you get to know the girl and found out she was actually extremely nice? Do not rely on images. Oftentimes, it is far from reality. Do not fear men just because your "supposedly" perfect ex-boyfriend mistreated you.

5. Always have your own set of rules. Set your limits on how far you'd go for a guy. It's perfectly ok to give and do everything as long as it's worth it.. And it's worth it if the guy is treating you right.

6. Do not be scared to lose him. Don't be scared that he'll break up with you. Once you are afraid of losing him, you easily can be taken advantage. Be strong and if something is unacceptable, do not accept it and speak up.

7. Avoid calling your guy. It's a guy thing. The relationship will definitely be better if it's the guy who's calling, not the girl. He will get tired of you if you keep on calling. He will lose interest and challenge. More so, he will get annoyed. But it's a girl thing also that your fingers get too itchy until you dial his number. But avoid as much as possible. Call only if really needed (like checking if your suspicions are reasonable).

8. There is a guy who will value you. There is a guy out there who can make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved. And I mean, not just during your first few weeks together. So don't lose hope. Don't settle for a lesbian if you are not attracted to women. There is a man out there who can love you like a girl can. Also, do not believe him when he says it's just the way he really is. He's not the sweet or expressive-type. Remember during your first few weeks together? Where has that sweet guy gone? He simply is not that into you anymore.

9. Always be the only one, no matter what. Do not ever fall for a guy who has another girl, be it his wife, girlfriend, or any girl that he says he just can't get rid of for whatever reason. If you truly believe that he loves you and for some reason, he can't leave or let go of another girl, then you are no different from any ordinary mistress.

10. He must respect you. No matter how long the relationship has been, he should always show respect towards you.

11. If he fooled you, end it. Philandering once is enough. You can never trust nor respect the person again.

12. Never start a relationship the wrong way. Do not steal another girl's man, for whatever reason. Nor should you enter a relationship for the wrong reasons (loneliness, on the rebound, getting back at your ex, man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last. You will only end up wasting more years of your life.

13. Do not force yourself into a relationship. Do not get into a relationship just because your friends are getting impatient with your dating escapades and the one hasn't come yet.. Do not choose who to say yes to based on superficial things like money, looks, cars, etc.. If you are even thinking of these things, you have not fallen in love yet.

14. Do not settle. If you are not happy anymore with your relationship, break up instantly. He will not stay with you forever no matter how upright he might seem to be. Eventually, he will also want love and happiness in his life.

15. A relationship has to have love. Love is the only thing that will push you to give your efforts into making the relationship work. And believe me, keeping a relationship requires genuine efforts of both parties.

16. Don't be afraid to be single. It's fun to be single, try it. You can go out whenever and wherever you want. You are free. You can date whomever you want and you get to go out for free! Do not get a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. Do not settle.

17. Be a good girl. Be a good girl to attract a good guy. Enter the relationship with sincere intentions. Take the guy and the relationship seriously with the plan of spending the rest of your life with that person (of course, this is after you had your bit of fun in your younger years) . If you compare your flings from your real relationships, you will know that the latter makes you happier and more fulfilled.

18. Love without limits. Whether you loved and gave everything or loved but held out for some things, if the relationship ends, you still get hurt. But if you gave your everything, you were happy and you could say that it was worth it. If you didn't give your all, you get hurt for nothing.

19. You will get over him. Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends and you are free to love another.

20. Be the one. Act like you are the one. Don't be a nagger. Don't hinder his gimmicks. Don't give in to him too easily. Make him treat you as important. Don't be easy. Don't be like every other girl he had in his life.

HATRED ON ADVENT :(

isn't it sad to know that it's advent season yet ii am feeling all these stress just because this one person totally ruined my day??!!!

ii don't really care about him, ACTUALLY. and to me he doesn't really exist in my eyes. but because too unfortunately we're groupmates, and so unluckily we belong on the same class, constant meeting with this effin person is undeniable and unavoidable.

can't he just live his life PEACEFULLY?

ugh. whatever.

i'm supposed to free myself from hatred and anger because it's advent. i'm supposed to be preparing myself for christmas. i'm supposed to feel happiness by this season!

but because there's this one big stress who has grown with head, hands and feet, i'm totally ruined!!

whatever. whatever. whatever.

GREAT EXPERiENCE

this entry is a week late and this was supposed to be made and posted last week. however, due to unnecessary circumstances, today has only been my time to post this.

it's been a week since my experience with AYLC 2011 Interview happened. it was so great knowing that for the 700+ applicants, from Luzon to Mindanao, I, Miralyn Madel Inso Abapo, was able to get into the top 153 and was able to meet some Ayala Corp. Executives. so you see, it was indeed a great experience. just being there, just knowing i was one of the top 153, is already a big honor. :)

it was Tuesday, November 23, 2010, that i was scheduled to fly for Makati City. it was my very first time to travel, in an airplane, ALONE. of course it was a heart pounding experience! im not used to travelling alone and honestly, im a big ignorant when it comes to airport, airplanes... and the like. :)

but since i have no choice but to travel alone, of course, i was able to get into the plane, safely. HAHA. and oh! by the way. there was some kind of change in Davao International Airport. according to my sources, i should go upstairs and always turn RiGHT. however though, the area changed and that time, i was supposed to turn LEFT. mabuti din naman ano at hindi ako ganun ka bobo para di magbasa. HAHA.

well, anyway, i was there. waiting. and it seems like an endless wait. at around 6:00 pm, we already boarded and presto! i was seated at 32B, in between two gentlemen. and of course, while i was there, i did not forget to pray. it was one thing i needed the most that time :).

after almost 2hours, or maybe 2hours, i arrived at Manila International Airport (MIA), Bay 9. i was really like wondering now how different Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) from MIA.. (??)

well, anyway, while there, waiting for our sundo, i saw these 4 people, of my same age. i was like thinking maybe they were interviewees also. i saw one of them wagging the ayala logo. upon seeing it, i went straight to them, asked them if they were also interviewees and in just a snap! we're friends! these people had been my company from that moment, during the interview and until we went home.

Richelle, Doanie, Dominic and Jay-Are

after our dinner at the penthouse of BSA hotel, of which you could oversee Makati from up there, we decided to have a little walk around Greenbelt, which is, actually, just in front of BSA hotel. we were with Ate Lis and Kuya Yani. the two AYLAlumni gave us tips for the interview. and it really did help. it really did. :)

by 11pm, we went back to the hotel, had our own stuff done and slept.

by 4:30 am, my dear brother called me just to wake me up. darn! i was so sleepy. my head was like floating. i dont really know how i felt that time. but it's time to wake up and prepare for the day's interview!

yes, yes. on November 25, 2010 was the schedule of my interview at Tower 1. ooh. i was quite nervous. well, actually, to tell you honestly, i was not that nervouse. i mean, i could feel the pressure, but not as intense as how i used to feel whenever i have interviews. :) maybe, just maybe, im confident enough and i trust myself more. :)

we had breakfast with Kuya Darren and Kuya Mark. :) they really were like big brothers who cared a lot for their younger siblings. :)

Kuya Darren in the middle

by 7:00 am, we were already at the lobby, waiting for the others, with the other AYLAlumni also. the AYLAlumni were with us in going to Tower 1.

we were at 25th floor. we stayed there for the orientation. we wrote an essay about "how we were about to bring forth change in our community/organization".

after which, we were like waiting for yeaaarss for our turn. haha. but i actually had fun chit-chatting with Yanglee, a good friend of Christian Alagon. at talagang si Christian lang ang pinag-usapan namin. :)

and oh! it was my turn already. lab-dub. lab-dub. my heart said. my heartbeat's like racing. haha :)

but upon entering the interview area.. upon seeing the panelists.. OH! presto! :) there's this big smile :) on their faces, warming and calming my system. and like.. they really did stand to meet and shake hands with me.

and i really had fun "having a good conversation" with the panel. yes. yes, indeed it was sort of a "casual conversation". the panel was so great. they made me feel so comfortable. they did not intimidate me and that's one thing all of us (interviewees) were thankful for. the warmth and welcoming presence of the panel calmed us and made us more confident of ourselves. and i bet ALL OF US ENJOYED the interview. well, actually, it should be termed as interview, but rather a conversation with some good friends.

and if you'll ask me what was the conversation all about..? um.. um.. lemme think first. HAHA. actually i really forgot what were the questions.. i dunno.. haha. it seems like it just passes by, in one sweep. haha. but generally, they did ask me about MYSELF, being a student, a daughter and a leader. but the specific questions? wag niyo nalang kasi itanong. nakalimutan nga eh. haha :))

and of course, it felt so great to have met KUYA CLOYD. he was a uic alumni, an AYLAlumni and at the same time, a worker of Manila Water (part of Ayala Company). so you see, i got the chance to meet this great person. and guess what... he used to be my teacher before, back in second year [he was just an intern by that time, of course].

Kuya Cloyd

this whole experience is indeed GREAT. as i always say, just being there is already a great honor. meeting different faces from the Ayala... being at Makati Tower 1.. seeing the welcoming faces... seeing Zobel de Ayala people... and of course, making new friends.

of all the things that i experienced, having new acquaintances is what i enjoyed the most. biruin nyo, magkakaiba kami, may bisaya, tagalog, muslim, christian, ilonggo at kahit ano pa, yet we all meet at the center, sharing our sweetest smiles, taking pictures together, sleeping together, laughing our hearts out, exchanging mobile digits and facebook accounts, ans sharing sweet moments.. dun lang kami nagkakakilala, but it's like we've already had this thread of bond connected in our hearts.

it's just normal to say "hello! taga-san ka? from what school? taga-davao ako.. ano name mo?" ang sama siguro tingnan kung kapwa leader mo, di mo pinapansin.

as what kuya darren always say, walang leader na mahiyain. lahat tayo makakapal ang mukha :)

it feels great knowing that a number of people have been added to my lists of friends :) of course, let me name a few.

Nimay, Rid and the other three mentioned above

Shayne and Chinni

ii so hope to see these great people again.. if not in Cavite this February, at least, at some point of our lives :) i did not only have and make fun with them, i've also gained something. :) indeed, it's a worthwhile experience.

aside from my ever dearest family, ooops. of course, let me not forget this one person who's there with me from the beginning until the end. the person who supported, and is still supporting me, all the way. the person who believes in me and gives me hope and courage. :)

Kuya Niño Renz Santos

this guy had also been a part of the AYLC 2010. although he's just been an interviewee, and he was not able to participate in the congress, still you can really say he's a great leader :) thankyou kuya nin for the support. :)

thankyou also for everyone who gives his/her support. there are too many of you to mention here. and you always know that iiLOVEyou. <3

it's been a week now since the interview. and all of us are patiently, and partly impatiently, waiting of the results. many are praying for it. some are expecting and others are just... um.. how do i say this.. oh right! HOPiNG (and i'm one).

if it's God's will, let it be. if it's not, be it :) after all, we've already been given an experience that is ABOVE and OVER the experiences of other people. isn't it?

so.. let's keep our fingers crossing. :)