ending 2010 with a bang!

picture: http://www1.sulekha.com/mstore/bhavna14/albums/default/cheers.jpg

so once again, we are about to end one year of our life and start again a newer one.

2010 has been a great year for me. i have experienced lots and lots and countless of ups and downs; of difficulties, hardships and (sort of) suffering. but yet again, i still have more reasons to celebrate love and life itself.

this year has been tough indeed. but i guess, all the things that i experienced this year have contributed more to what i am now and to what i will become. this year has not been so good -- i've encountered lots of fights and misunderstandings (even with someone superior than me); i've experienced almost-friendship-breakup; i did cry a lot; i did get angry often; i complained countlessly; i blamed people; i've learned to hate much and get jealous; and i've learned to fight even if i was wrong.

but above all these, i still have numerous reasons why i should be happy and thankful.

firstly, i always have my family beside me, ready to support and love me despite my bad attitude (hehe).

secondly, i have friends who know i am not a good person, but still stick with me through tough times.

thirdly, i have someone whom i love and although we can't be together forever, but still he's there, as my friend.

lastly, God has showered countless blessings to me this year.. they are too many to mention. i haven't even thanked some of which. but for some reason, God still remembers to show goodness to my life. to name a few, thank God for the good health (although sometimes it's not really good). i may get sick, but good thing my health hasn't failed me, even once (and i hope it won't ever fail me). thank God for the strength of getting up early, spending more than 12 hours at school, learning, listening, coming home late, studying and sleeping late. i can say that i really am gifted with strength. biruin mo nga naman, i can survive a day even with just 1 hour and 30 minute sleep! just imagine. :) thank God for the unfailing gift of knowledge and talents that i sometimes take for granted and fail to recognize. thank God for allowing me to complete 9mornings of misa de gallo. thank God for allowing me to pass the first semester of my third year life (of which really is not an easy job). and of course, thank God for letting me pass the AYLC, of which i consider to be a great gift sent from above.

and also, let me not forget the many people, God has let me share my time with this 2010.

Abapo Family - the people who are always there by my side even if times go wrong; the people who never cease to dream and help me achieve the dreams of my own; the people who help me nourish myself, as a daughter, as a sibling and as an individual.

Dahly Vie Padillo - the ever dearest sister (almost biological sister, if only God has allowed it). we may not have spent some good quality time. but i know, deep in our hearts, we know that we are sisters, and that will never change, of course, and that even through the test of time, our love for each other will remain. i do promise to make it up with you, when the very right time comes.

Gummy Bears - for the company and everything too many to mention.

Avon Mae Sedantes - soul sister. for the love and understanding; for the support and care; for helping me go through every heartache; for the everything that we have shared; for keeping me company; for listening when i cry; for the hug whenever i need one; for the laughters shared whenever i am sad; for the warm smile right enough just when i need it; for the push in the back whenever i fell like i am failing; for the words of encouragement whenever fear creeps my system; for always believing in me and in the things that i am capable of doing and achieving. you are a sister, and that will never change.

MLS Family - for the warm support, laughters, good and bad experiences together; for the kabuang moments in and out of the classroom; for the good, and even bad things that have been said.

Ed Christian Yaranon - for the love; for being a best friend; for the time spent together; for all the laughters; for the libre; for the support (even if you don't really express it that much); for the care; for the texting moments; for the messages sent; for the stories shared; for the warm hug; and for all that has been said. i hope to share more bonding moments with you bessy!

and the other people whose names are not mentioned here: THANK YOU. this year has been good enough for me to realize that life indeed is GREAT.

cheers for us this coming year. may 2011 not only be a prosperous year for us all, but also a fruitful one. may we always find happiness, joy and love in every experience that we are to have this coming year.

KAMPAiii!

what if?

what and if are two words that are not as threatening as words come. but if you put them side by side, it will have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life. what if? -- Letters to Juliet

i'm supposed to be preparing and reflecting over the pre-work given to us by the AYLC secretariat. i'm supposed to be doing my blood smears. i'm supposed to be studying AUBF and hematology. i'm supposed to be reading literature about our thesis paper. and i'm not supposed to be thinking about him.

as i rummage my thoughts today, and as i watch the movie Enchanted, i can't help but think of the memories that i am able to share with this little special someone who has been a great part of my life ever since i knew how love feels.

well, you can't really say whom you'll fall in love with, right?

it's been a while since i checked my heart of it's status. and well, nothing has changed, and i guess, it will not change, yet.

so, what if? what if i will really fall for him so deeply? what if i'll never get over this feeling? what if i will always love him even after years? and what if he'll be able to find the girl of his dreams? what will happen to me then?

confused, with nowhere to go, that's how i perfectly describe myself now. it's not that i'm bothered because he and i can't be together forever. well, i just don't know what will happen to me when the time comes that the two of us have to go on our separate ways.

i know there's no way for me to get what i really want. i know that isn't the plan God has set for me. he has his life to live; i have my own too. and too bad we don't meet at the point which i consider to be magical.

friends. yes, that's how we ought to become forever. friends. yes, that's what we are to each other. best friends. yes, that's what we will be for the rest of our lives.

looking on the other side of the story.. what if? what if he will fall for me too? what if it has been decided that we will be together forever? what if destiny works out for me? what if??

but i know it's not happening and it will never happen. and so what? i am contented of where i am now. i have him after all: HE IS MY BESTFRIEND :)

love may not work the way i want it to. but one thing i have learned is that in love, people don't really have to engage themselves in a committed relationship -- as long as there is this bond of connection between two hearts; as long as two hearts care for each other; as long as love never fades over time, even miles apart.

so now... what if?

big things come in small packages

MERRY CHRISTMAS! :)

the things that matter most in our lives don't really have to come in big surprises. christmas isn't really about having all these earthly things that we always want. simple things matter. and in these simple things come the great  gift that we always have wanted.

this christmas season has taught me to be happy and to enjoy the simple things around me, to appreciate and make people smile in the simplest way that i can and to enjoy the fullness of God's love and life itself.

celebrating this season with a complete family is one of the greatest gifts i could ever receive from up above. the experience is different; the happiness is incomparable.

God is really giving me reasons to continue and enjoy life the way it is. there are a lot more to discover and to celebrate.

celebrate life. celebrate love.

PARTEEEY!

an advanced christmas gift

after almost a month of waiting, the results have finally come! :) it was so sudden. it came like a lightning. i was surprised, of course and i wasn't really expecting for it. of course, who would have. after all, passing the interview, as said by kuya darren, is like a magic -- no one really knows, except for the panelists themselves, and don jaime as well, how and why one gets into the AYALA YOUNG LEADERS CONGRESS.

that is why, it is such a great privilege as i was able to receive this:

and it started with..

Congratulations! I am pleased to inform you that you have been chosen as one of the 81 delegates to the 13th National Ayala Young Leaders Congress (AYLC 20100).

and yeeeeeeeessss! i made it! i made it! I DID MAKE IT AND I DID WELL! i can never believe it! who would have thought that i can make it all this way? that i can reach this far?

it's really like a magic. it's a magic how one passes the interview phase! :)

signed and given by:

thanks to the love letter from DON JAIME AUGUSTO ZOBEL de AYALA II, now i have another reason to celebrate and be happy for this christmas! :) this is such a very wonderful gift. and God knows how i appreciate this! :)

i look forward to seeing Don Jaime in the congress also! :) i hope i can shake hands with him.

after all, GOD is GREAT, as always. and HE knows what's best for me. THANKYOU LORD!

KUDOOOOOOS MADHEL! great job! :)

~now let's celebrate. PARTEEEEEEEEYYYY!!

Christmas in our hearts

ten days from now, and we will all be celebrating the day that our Lord Jesus Christ was born. his birth marks a significant event not only for the fact that 25th of December is a holiday, but because his birthday signifies how lucky we are to have enjoyed the salvific grace and love of God.

as we prepare ourselves for the coming of our savior, have we, even once this advent season, reflected on how our life have been? have we asked forgiveness from those that we have hurt? have we said our grateful thanks for those who have played a great part in our lives? have we sought peace in our hearts and minds? have we... even just for once, offered our whole selves for the love of God??

so, before i miss this whole opportunity... let me..

first, THANKYOU for everyone who has been a part of my life. for the people i love and those who love me.. for the people who care... and even those who hate me to death, thankyou. your existence has contributed a lot to what i am now and to what i will become.

second, SORRY for all the shortcomings and weaknesses i've shown. i apologize for being so maarte, oa, annoying, bossy, feelingera, hambugera, yawyawera, palaaway, sumbungera, reklamador, irresponsible, iyakin, sabaan, samukan and all that i am. i can't force you to accept me for what i am, but at least, let me thank you for the effort of trying to like me, somehow. i can't afford to change in an instant. i am who i am. i am not better than anyone else and i cant be good enough. so.. im sorry. it's the simplest thing i can do.

this season is the perfect timing for us to reflect over things and to ponder upon our lives. we may have not been the best for this year, but at least we've tried to be good. let's seek for the peace and harmony that our hearts always long for. let's live in the glory and love of God.

wishing for a very merry Christmas for everyone.

GREY'S ANATOMY -- reposted from KYLA GUiLLEN

1. A man won't let go if he really loves you. Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is another reason he is not willing to tell.

2. Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship. There is only one reason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do not waste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done. Move on and be open to a man who will truly love you.

3. Do not get hung up on your past. Do not nag or distrust your current boyfriend just because your ex hurt you. Do not treat him or the relationship the same way. Do not compare. He will not react the same way as your ex. Do not be worried that your simple mistakes will cause him to look for another girl. What happened with your ex was not your fault. It was not because you didn't guard him enough or you didn't make him happy enough.

4. Do not look into images. How many times have you met a girl who didn't have the best image in school or at the office, but you get to know the girl and found out she was actually extremely nice? Do not rely on images. Oftentimes, it is far from reality. Do not fear men just because your "supposedly" perfect ex-boyfriend mistreated you.

5. Always have your own set of rules. Set your limits on how far you'd go for a guy. It's perfectly ok to give and do everything as long as it's worth it.. And it's worth it if the guy is treating you right.

6. Do not be scared to lose him. Don't be scared that he'll break up with you. Once you are afraid of losing him, you easily can be taken advantage. Be strong and if something is unacceptable, do not accept it and speak up.

7. Avoid calling your guy. It's a guy thing. The relationship will definitely be better if it's the guy who's calling, not the girl. He will get tired of you if you keep on calling. He will lose interest and challenge. More so, he will get annoyed. But it's a girl thing also that your fingers get too itchy until you dial his number. But avoid as much as possible. Call only if really needed (like checking if your suspicions are reasonable).

8. There is a guy who will value you. There is a guy out there who can make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved. And I mean, not just during your first few weeks together. So don't lose hope. Don't settle for a lesbian if you are not attracted to women. There is a man out there who can love you like a girl can. Also, do not believe him when he says it's just the way he really is. He's not the sweet or expressive-type. Remember during your first few weeks together? Where has that sweet guy gone? He simply is not that into you anymore.

9. Always be the only one, no matter what. Do not ever fall for a guy who has another girl, be it his wife, girlfriend, or any girl that he says he just can't get rid of for whatever reason. If you truly believe that he loves you and for some reason, he can't leave or let go of another girl, then you are no different from any ordinary mistress.

10. He must respect you. No matter how long the relationship has been, he should always show respect towards you.

11. If he fooled you, end it. Philandering once is enough. You can never trust nor respect the person again.

12. Never start a relationship the wrong way. Do not steal another girl's man, for whatever reason. Nor should you enter a relationship for the wrong reasons (loneliness, on the rebound, getting back at your ex, man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last. You will only end up wasting more years of your life.

13. Do not force yourself into a relationship. Do not get into a relationship just because your friends are getting impatient with your dating escapades and the one hasn't come yet.. Do not choose who to say yes to based on superficial things like money, looks, cars, etc.. If you are even thinking of these things, you have not fallen in love yet.

14. Do not settle. If you are not happy anymore with your relationship, break up instantly. He will not stay with you forever no matter how upright he might seem to be. Eventually, he will also want love and happiness in his life.

15. A relationship has to have love. Love is the only thing that will push you to give your efforts into making the relationship work. And believe me, keeping a relationship requires genuine efforts of both parties.

16. Don't be afraid to be single. It's fun to be single, try it. You can go out whenever and wherever you want. You are free. You can date whomever you want and you get to go out for free! Do not get a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. Do not settle.

17. Be a good girl. Be a good girl to attract a good guy. Enter the relationship with sincere intentions. Take the guy and the relationship seriously with the plan of spending the rest of your life with that person (of course, this is after you had your bit of fun in your younger years) . If you compare your flings from your real relationships, you will know that the latter makes you happier and more fulfilled.

18. Love without limits. Whether you loved and gave everything or loved but held out for some things, if the relationship ends, you still get hurt. But if you gave your everything, you were happy and you could say that it was worth it. If you didn't give your all, you get hurt for nothing.

19. You will get over him. Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends and you are free to love another.

20. Be the one. Act like you are the one. Don't be a nagger. Don't hinder his gimmicks. Don't give in to him too easily. Make him treat you as important. Don't be easy. Don't be like every other girl he had in his life.

HATRED ON ADVENT :(

isn't it sad to know that it's advent season yet ii am feeling all these stress just because this one person totally ruined my day??!!!

ii don't really care about him, ACTUALLY. and to me he doesn't really exist in my eyes. but because too unfortunately we're groupmates, and so unluckily we belong on the same class, constant meeting with this effin person is undeniable and unavoidable.

can't he just live his life PEACEFULLY?

ugh. whatever.

i'm supposed to free myself from hatred and anger because it's advent. i'm supposed to be preparing myself for christmas. i'm supposed to feel happiness by this season!

but because there's this one big stress who has grown with head, hands and feet, i'm totally ruined!!

whatever. whatever. whatever.

GREAT EXPERiENCE

this entry is a week late and this was supposed to be made and posted last week. however, due to unnecessary circumstances, today has only been my time to post this.

it's been a week since my experience with AYLC 2011 Interview happened. it was so great knowing that for the 700+ applicants, from Luzon to Mindanao, I, Miralyn Madel Inso Abapo, was able to get into the top 153 and was able to meet some Ayala Corp. Executives. so you see, it was indeed a great experience. just being there, just knowing i was one of the top 153, is already a big honor. :)

it was Tuesday, November 23, 2010, that i was scheduled to fly for Makati City. it was my very first time to travel, in an airplane, ALONE. of course it was a heart pounding experience! im not used to travelling alone and honestly, im a big ignorant when it comes to airport, airplanes... and the like. :)

but since i have no choice but to travel alone, of course, i was able to get into the plane, safely. HAHA. and oh! by the way. there was some kind of change in Davao International Airport. according to my sources, i should go upstairs and always turn RiGHT. however though, the area changed and that time, i was supposed to turn LEFT. mabuti din naman ano at hindi ako ganun ka bobo para di magbasa. HAHA.

well, anyway, i was there. waiting. and it seems like an endless wait. at around 6:00 pm, we already boarded and presto! i was seated at 32B, in between two gentlemen. and of course, while i was there, i did not forget to pray. it was one thing i needed the most that time :).

after almost 2hours, or maybe 2hours, i arrived at Manila International Airport (MIA), Bay 9. i was really like wondering now how different Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) from MIA.. (??)

well, anyway, while there, waiting for our sundo, i saw these 4 people, of my same age. i was like thinking maybe they were interviewees also. i saw one of them wagging the ayala logo. upon seeing it, i went straight to them, asked them if they were also interviewees and in just a snap! we're friends! these people had been my company from that moment, during the interview and until we went home.

Richelle, Doanie, Dominic and Jay-Are

after our dinner at the penthouse of BSA hotel, of which you could oversee Makati from up there, we decided to have a little walk around Greenbelt, which is, actually, just in front of BSA hotel. we were with Ate Lis and Kuya Yani. the two AYLAlumni gave us tips for the interview. and it really did help. it really did. :)

by 11pm, we went back to the hotel, had our own stuff done and slept.

by 4:30 am, my dear brother called me just to wake me up. darn! i was so sleepy. my head was like floating. i dont really know how i felt that time. but it's time to wake up and prepare for the day's interview!

yes, yes. on November 25, 2010 was the schedule of my interview at Tower 1. ooh. i was quite nervous. well, actually, to tell you honestly, i was not that nervouse. i mean, i could feel the pressure, but not as intense as how i used to feel whenever i have interviews. :) maybe, just maybe, im confident enough and i trust myself more. :)

we had breakfast with Kuya Darren and Kuya Mark. :) they really were like big brothers who cared a lot for their younger siblings. :)

Kuya Darren in the middle

by 7:00 am, we were already at the lobby, waiting for the others, with the other AYLAlumni also. the AYLAlumni were with us in going to Tower 1.

we were at 25th floor. we stayed there for the orientation. we wrote an essay about "how we were about to bring forth change in our community/organization".

after which, we were like waiting for yeaaarss for our turn. haha. but i actually had fun chit-chatting with Yanglee, a good friend of Christian Alagon. at talagang si Christian lang ang pinag-usapan namin. :)

and oh! it was my turn already. lab-dub. lab-dub. my heart said. my heartbeat's like racing. haha :)

but upon entering the interview area.. upon seeing the panelists.. OH! presto! :) there's this big smile :) on their faces, warming and calming my system. and like.. they really did stand to meet and shake hands with me.

and i really had fun "having a good conversation" with the panel. yes. yes, indeed it was sort of a "casual conversation". the panel was so great. they made me feel so comfortable. they did not intimidate me and that's one thing all of us (interviewees) were thankful for. the warmth and welcoming presence of the panel calmed us and made us more confident of ourselves. and i bet ALL OF US ENJOYED the interview. well, actually, it should be termed as interview, but rather a conversation with some good friends.

and if you'll ask me what was the conversation all about..? um.. um.. lemme think first. HAHA. actually i really forgot what were the questions.. i dunno.. haha. it seems like it just passes by, in one sweep. haha. but generally, they did ask me about MYSELF, being a student, a daughter and a leader. but the specific questions? wag niyo nalang kasi itanong. nakalimutan nga eh. haha :))

and of course, it felt so great to have met KUYA CLOYD. he was a uic alumni, an AYLAlumni and at the same time, a worker of Manila Water (part of Ayala Company). so you see, i got the chance to meet this great person. and guess what... he used to be my teacher before, back in second year [he was just an intern by that time, of course].

Kuya Cloyd

this whole experience is indeed GREAT. as i always say, just being there is already a great honor. meeting different faces from the Ayala... being at Makati Tower 1.. seeing the welcoming faces... seeing Zobel de Ayala people... and of course, making new friends.

of all the things that i experienced, having new acquaintances is what i enjoyed the most. biruin nyo, magkakaiba kami, may bisaya, tagalog, muslim, christian, ilonggo at kahit ano pa, yet we all meet at the center, sharing our sweetest smiles, taking pictures together, sleeping together, laughing our hearts out, exchanging mobile digits and facebook accounts, ans sharing sweet moments.. dun lang kami nagkakakilala, but it's like we've already had this thread of bond connected in our hearts.

it's just normal to say "hello! taga-san ka? from what school? taga-davao ako.. ano name mo?" ang sama siguro tingnan kung kapwa leader mo, di mo pinapansin.

as what kuya darren always say, walang leader na mahiyain. lahat tayo makakapal ang mukha :)

it feels great knowing that a number of people have been added to my lists of friends :) of course, let me name a few.

Nimay, Rid and the other three mentioned above

Shayne and Chinni

ii so hope to see these great people again.. if not in Cavite this February, at least, at some point of our lives :) i did not only have and make fun with them, i've also gained something. :) indeed, it's a worthwhile experience.

aside from my ever dearest family, ooops. of course, let me not forget this one person who's there with me from the beginning until the end. the person who supported, and is still supporting me, all the way. the person who believes in me and gives me hope and courage. :)

Kuya Niño Renz Santos

this guy had also been a part of the AYLC 2010. although he's just been an interviewee, and he was not able to participate in the congress, still you can really say he's a great leader :) thankyou kuya nin for the support. :)

thankyou also for everyone who gives his/her support. there are too many of you to mention here. and you always know that iiLOVEyou. <3

it's been a week now since the interview. and all of us are patiently, and partly impatiently, waiting of the results. many are praying for it. some are expecting and others are just... um.. how do i say this.. oh right! HOPiNG (and i'm one).

if it's God's will, let it be. if it's not, be it :) after all, we've already been given an experience that is ABOVE and OVER the experiences of other people. isn't it?

so.. let's keep our fingers crossing. :)

FUN = FRiENDS

ef-yu-en is not the only way of spelling FUN for this one simple word equates friendship.

yes, indeed friendship poses happiness -- a happiness that is incomparable; a happiness that is beyond material measure; a happiness that may always be kept in the heart; a happiness that is certainly more than just a simple luck.

old friends stay in the heart. the good old days are never forgotten. the smiles kept in the memories are always cherished. the laughters that once roared are still heard. nothing can really beat good old friends.

but of course, making some new friends can also be fun. you're not just allowing yourself to be open to other people, but you are also making a bigger space in your life.

new acquaintances mean new experiences. and new experiences are new adventures.

it's not that old friends are boring and the new ones are more fun. it's just that... it's a new opportunity for us to grow with various and different kinds of people entering in our lives. for these NEW faces may have a different impact on us and may teach us something that we are yet to discover about ourselves.

good old friends can never be forgotten; and the new ones that arrive -- they can be kept in the heart, just like how we keep an old friend.

<3 madhel

personality ko daw?

i happened to read a note tagged to my friend about personality tests. i got interested into it and had a try.. so, here's the result.

a part of it says of the truth.. and the other? naaah. i don't know yet.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Parfocality

PARFOCALITY. and i have finally decided to change the name of this bloggie from the old one "live. laugh. love ♥♥♥" to PARFOCALITY ♥.

but what do we really mean with PARFOCALITY? well, actually, i got the word from our laboratory activities.

so, what do we really mean with parfocality?

according to Wikipedia parfocal means having stayed in focus even when magnification is changed or sometimes, it only needs finer focusing.

so, you see. the microscope objective is something to inspire.

as an individual - an MLS student, a striving young lass - i must be able to develop parfocality. this is something i need to have, especially during these days. i need to focus. i need to be flexible. even if life's magnification of hardship changes - be it increases or decreases - i must learn to relax and focus. relax and chill. focus on what is important and what must be my priority.

parfocality. everyone must learn to develop it. everyone must strive hard to focus.

~stay parfocal.

i'm one step away from AYLC.. but am i really?

up until this moment, i still can't believe that i got into the FiNALS of AYLC and i am one step away from the congress. *excited* i've never been thinking about this lately, actually, not until the day Ma'am Anaflor told me the good news. :)

you see, it's such a great blessing. i wasn't able to celebrate much my birthday due to financial problems. plus, there are a lot of books i have to buy for this semester. and here comes the letter from the secretariat of ayala. :)

you really think i got what it takes to be a young leader? do you think i deserve this chance? i mean. imagine. there were people ahead of me (2batches ahead of me, specifically) who weren't able to become a finalist. and to think they were much better than i am. they were able to participate and initiate various activities that help shape the students, as well as the community they are serving. but.. i always wonder why they weren't able to get into it.

and that is why now, i am wondering if i really have what it takes to become a part of the ayala young leaders.

we'll im just madel. nothing more. nothing less. i spill a lot of things. i create a lot of mess. i am irresponsible. i seldom don't care about other people. i am noisy. i am not actually a good model of the youth.

i just love what i am doing. i love leading a particular group. i love participating in various school activities. i love being involved. i love working with people (and sometimes all by myself). i love having fun through activities.

that's all. :)

i think it's just because i have the confidence. but.. do i really have one?

haha. i'm confused now. but i'm not losing hope to myself. i just need MORE REFLECTiON. :)

God puts me here. He has reasons for it. and i know i DESERVE it.

19th birthday entry

okay. this is a bit late because i was supposed to post this by November 01. but since i wasn't able so,.. it's better LATE than NEVER AT ALL. :)


another year has been added to my life. and i thank God for all that He has given me last year and for all that He will shower upon me this coming year of my life.

i also want to thank the people, CLOSE TO MY HEART, who never fail to remember this special day of my life. i am happy that i have encountered these people.

1. AVON MAE SEDANTES - at the 12mn, the very first person to call and greet me on my birthday. THANKYOU so much for all that we have shared together. thankyou for the call. i'LL truly never forget this night.

2. TUESDEE MAY LEYSA - it's been a tough year for all of us, yet you never fail to remember the friendship that we have. thank you for your wishes on my birthday.

3. RUSSEFE CATEDRiLLA - the ANNOYiNG ONE. haha.xD we've only been close lately and i'm happy to have shared wonderful experiences with you. thankyou and YOU'RE SO ANNOYiNG! haha.xD KiDDiNG. :)

4. ED CHRiSTiAN YARANON - BESS KOOOOO! :) thank you so much for remembering this day. i so thought you wouldn't be awake at that time. well, i'm wrong. you are one person i always hope to cherish for the rest of my wonderful life. and i do mean it! <3

5. SiV MiLLiSCENT BALBAS - momii kooo! :) on this day, you've delivered me into this world. haha.xD thanks much momii siv. i always want you to be my momii. ALWAYs. :)

6. HAViV RUSSEL SOLiS - angkooool havivo! haha.xD it's been a tough time for you. despite that, you never fail to greet me. THANKYOU and may God bless you as well as your family. KEEP YOUR HOPE AND FAiTH UP! :)

7. MARiA ARJANE PATiS - vermiiii! :) thankyou for remembering it's my day. i always cherish you and the fact that you love my hair. :) i hope you'll always be my classmate. <3

8. CHARiS ABRACiA - thankyoooouuu! :) we have not seen each other in the past years. more so, dahly and i weren't there during your birthday celebration. but despite that, you still remember my day. thankyou!

9. LORAiNE CRiSPO - the ate i would like to have in the family. thanks te rain for the never ending understanding and company. :) thanks for greeting me so early. i appreciate it.

10. CARLiTO CARRASCO - waaa. thanks much liiiit! although you always tease me for nothing and make fun of everything, haha. iLL never forgive you for that. KiDDiNG. :) i do thank you for remembering this day.

11. RUBEE BAGAiPO - ruuubs! thank you also for the company. and i always hope you will always be my classmate. thankyou for waking up such early and greeting me.

and when sunshine smiles, God is still giving me countless reasons to be happy for all the people who never fail to remember me on my very special day.

12. MARViELYN LUSiCA - it was such an early greeting. THANKYOU marvs for remembering. i do appreciate it a lot.

13. LOUiE LLEGO - waa. i never thought you would really remember it. THANKYOU for that sweet fact. thankyou.

14. SHENA MAY PEREÑO -  the very girl of my bessy. thankyou so much for keeping your promise of greeting me this day. :) THANKYOU. i appreciate our new friendship.

15. MA. MURiEL LUMBA - BABES! it's been a tough time for us. although i'm always a nagger and non-stop yawyawera, still you love and understand me. THANKYOU BABES for everything.

16. iAN CESAR CARTONEROS - although you were like surprised for the fact that it's my birthday, it's okay. THANKYOU yan. inspite of fighting a lot, we still have our friendship. THANKYOU.

17. APPLE GRACE LEOPARDAS - daaaaaay! we've been like so together since summer and i really appreciate your company. thanks for greeting and caring. you know for a fact how much i appreciate our friendship. <3

18. JUREN JOHN PASTOLERO - waa. i never thought you had my number. more so, i never thought you would greet me. thanks for that sweet fact. thankyou for remembering. :)

19. SHEiLA MAE DAUZ - although we fight a lot and argue on something, you humble yourself instead of fighting back. THANKYOU shei for being a buffer. thankyou also for remembering TODAY. :)

20. AGNES ANN FAYE UAYAN - woooo! idk if i spell your name right. haha.xD anyway, THANKYOU for the wishes. i also appreciate the friendship that we have. :) THANKYOU NEEEESSSSiiiEEE! :)

21. NELYN CADOTDOT - LOLA NELS! :) thank you for asking my number before for the purpose of greeting me. :) thankyou for remembering!

22. EUNiCE LUGATIMAN - thankyou so much for the friendship and for remembering it's my day. thankyou also for the sweet advice you have given me.

23. RiTZE BURGOS - ate cheee! :) as in i never thought you would really greet me. HAHAxD thankyou so much for keeping what you have said. <3

24. NARDZ PAMAT - tataaay! thankyou so much for always remembering this day. you've been a second parent. THANKYOU.

25. JiMMi JADE CUPO - the booooy geniuuuus! :) thankyou so much for not forgetting this day. i do appreciate it. a lot!

26. EDDiN ROSE SALUTA - thankyooooouuu for the sweet greeting. :) it's nice to know we're close up until these times. <3

26. SiR TOLiTZ CORONEL - happy birthday to the two of US! :) i wish and hope happiness for us both. :)

27. MARiA ViCTORiA ELENA SARSABA - vieeeL! :) thankyou for being a nice friend although before i used to pick on you. :) THANKYOU for greeting me.

28. MA. LORENZ JANE PADiSiO - staaalkeeer! :) thankyou for that call. i do appreciate every single moment that we share together. THANKYOU ate jane! :)

29. JEAMiE ROSE - it's been a while, right? waa. thankyou so much for remembering this day and for greeting me. as in thankyou, super thankyou. :)

30. DONNA CULANAG SARDEÑOLA - iiiilooongggaaa! :) thank you also for the call. it's such a very sweet thought. thankyou for remembering! :)

31. JOSE COMENDADOR JR. - joseeey! haha.xD thanks much for keeping your word that you'd greet me on my birthday. i appreciate the kind thought.

32. ESTHER JANE REQUiLLO - gaaa! :) aside from being a good listener, you're such a very nice and sweet girl. thankyou for the remembering this day and for coming over. :)

33. ABEGAiL WEiLL - bespreeen! :) thankyou also for rockin' my world yow! :) you're such a very nice friend and i appreciate our besprenship! i will change, but of course, for the better. <3

34. KEZIAH AMOR SALCEDO - kaaaye! :) thankyou for greeting me. you're such a sweet friend. thankyou. :)

35. KiMBERLY MARiE DEVELOS - kumareee! :) thankyou for the sweet thought. iLL never forget your birthday also. THANKYOU.

36. PRiNCESS MAY CAJANDiG - we've not been classmates for this sem, yet you never fail to say hi to me and of course to greet me today. thankyou so much for such sweet act.

37. LENNARD BiLL ESPiNA - haha. magpakain ka na kaseee. :) we're not that close, yet we're able to establish a good friendship. thankyou for greeting me [although i reminded you. haha.]

38. FLORDELiZ iNSO - insaaan! :) thankyou so much mother for such sweet message. ii also hope mr.right comes. :)

everyone who greeted in facebook, and those whose names were not included here.. there are so many of you to mention. and although i wasn't able to include your names here, still, YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN.

thankyou. <3

and of course, to my FAMiLY. thanks a lot to you guys -- for all that you've done and sacrificed for me. THANKYOU. :)

JANiCE ABAPO - thank you ate for remembering this day :) i really appreciate it. thankyou!
ARLENE ABAPO - thanks for waking me up early this morning and greeting me with those sweet happy birthday! :) thankyou ate.
KiERSTHiNE YESHA ABAPO - my dear niece! :) thankyou for greeting me early this morning and for that sweet kiss! :*
QUAiNELEEN ABAPO - sistereeetttte! :) the sisterhood of my life. although we always fight, and i think it's something unchangeable, still iiLOVEyou and will always thank God for giving me a sister just like you. <3
MARiNO ABAPO - papa! thankyou for everything that you've done. one thankyou is not enough for everything and to pay back for everything. :)
MiLAGROS ABAPO - thankyou so much mama for everything. i don't know how to make it up with you. one lifetime is not enough to thankyou for the love, care, support and everything! :) thankyou for the life you have given. thankyou ma! :)
MARLON ABAPO - you've been away. and you've already missed two birthdays of mine. tsk. thankyou for the call. thankyou for remembering it's my birhtday. thankyou for caring. thankyou! :)

ME = FiGHTER

Miralyn Madel Inso Abapo is a fighter. she may cry like a child and get scared most of the time, but still, she's one person i would like the world to have. 

she's annoying and many hate her. sh'e been laughed at and she feels belittle because of that. but even so she's all in pain, she still knows how to fight and to laugh.

she may be angry, but that anger would just pass by.

she may learn to hate -- it's because the world has given her reasons to feel like such.

she's happy and she has so many reasons why she should be.

she's super blessed, although sometimes she fails to recognize it. 

more so, she is one person the world knows not. but soon, when the right time comes, she'll be able to prove the worth she possesses.

she lives like she has no tomorrow; she laughs her whole heart out; and she loves, even after being constantly rejected.

the world is so big; i have so many reasons why i should not sulk into depression.

iiLOVEthisLiFE.

a mistake can always be corrected

it's been a while since there boomed the hottest issue that i involved myself into. and yes, for a while, there has been silence between the parties involved.

i have been wrong. yes, i know. i always know. others may have been wrong too and deny. but it's up to them actually. they are the very ones who know what really is the truth and what is not.

the damage has already been done -- everyone's aware of it. the broken pieces can never be mended back. relationships may have fallen apart. friendship may have been broken.

everyone may think it's over between the people who have been close to one another. others may think it's useless to continue being friends with the same people who hurt them.

but i dare say, things may have fallen into failure, but one mistake can always be corrected.

as for me, it's over. if others still carry the bitterness in their hearts, well. they do it themselves.

i don't want to go back to the same place where i have been. i don't want to be stranded just because of one lame mistake.

it's over. long over. no more bitterness. no more pain. no more anger. NO MORE.

ANGER.

anger hurts us. anger kills. anger shatters relationships.

sometimes, it's the anger that covers our eyes from the reality. it's our anger that conceals the goodness that we are supposed to see on other people. anger blinds us to the right that we should learn.

yes, indeed, the intense emotion we are feeling inside us burns the goodness in our hearts.

and it pains. it pains not only us but the people whom our anger should be thrown in to. and we get blinded by our pain. we forget the feelings of other people. we take them for granted. and we brood in every single mistake that we see in them. and then... things get too complicated.

“Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.” goes a saying from Siddhartha Gautama Buddha.

we can never really escape from the angst in our hearts, not unless we set those free and carry no burden on our shoulders.

do you know why angels fly?

it's not because they have wings.. but because they carry no burden in their hearts.

may we always live like angels -- no guilt, no pain, no anger.

in every learning experience that we encounter, let us forget the painful feelings locked in our hearts. and when things are over, should we mean it. through that way, each of us we'll be able to live, having no regrets... more so, having no anger.

~ a happy night for everybody! :)

fight for your stand

each of us has our own principles that we are always willing to fight for. i myself have on own stand and no one can ever make me change my mind with what i strongly believe.

but the question now is, is it really right to just fight for our principles without properly knowing the grounds of the whole situation? do we really fight for what is right? or do we just fight to resist and make ourselves the right one?

sometimes, we get too blinded by our own principles that we forget other people. well, actually, we sometimes take them for granted also BECAUSE WE ARE TOO PREOCCUPIED OF AND BY OUR OWN SELVES.

now, may i ask you. are your principles really worth fighting for? are you really standing for what is right? do you really know why you are fighting for such? or you just do it just to have "something" to fight for?

let us all be conscious of how we act and what we believe. sometimes, we are misguided by our own beliefs. and instead of doing what is really right, we are fighting for what WE THINK is right. and that's how things start to become complicated.

so, you see, life is full of complexity. and in everything we do, it always has an effect on other people.

so, stand up now. but before you go to your battle, THINK FIRST... and think again.

LEARNiNG FROM OUR MiSTAKE

nobody is perfect. everyone commits mistakes. even if your are the president of the United States, or the king of Great Britain, or the Prime Minister of China, you still are prone to committing mistakes, whether they are little or big.

mistakes are inevitable and part of human nature. imperfect as we are, we are always bound to commit mistakes. we are prone to hurt not only ourselves but also other people. there's a tendency that we become too preoccupied of ourselves. we tend to think only of ourselves to the extent that we are already hurting the people who matter most in our lives.

yes, mistakes hurt people. mistakes make us cry. mistakes make us feel anger.

as a result, friends clash and relationships fall apart. isn't it painful to know that all these can happen with just one lame mistake?

mistakes are not present for us to succumb unto them. mistakes are not recognized for us to degrade ourselves and deprive ourselves of the many opportunities of the world.

well, the little truth is that, mistakes should make us even stronger and wiser.

we can learn from our mistakes after admitting that we really have done something wrong. but if we are too proud that we never admit such and we start to blame other people, we start to separate ourselves from the world and the opportunities life offers.

but if we only courageously stand and say "hey! i am guilty of this mistake. i am responsible for this. no one should be blamed for this other than me", the learning process then starts. indeed, admitting one's mistakes help a person recognize his/her faultiness and imperfection and he/she moves towards understanding of life's possibilities.

isn't it lighter to feel that we willingly recognize and accept our mistake and learn from it? isn't it joyful to know that  relationships are saved for such humble act?

mistakes are our teachers. "A man's errors are his portals to discovery", goes a saying from James Joyce. mistakes open us to a newer and better us. mistakes lead us to a wiser being of ourselves.

we should not brood over our mistakes or from the mistakes of other people. a learning from such experience should emanate from us.

all these will not only help us become better individuals. these will also help us learn life's possibilities.

indeed, mistakes are inevitable; but this fact should never be the reason of our downfall, as well as the downfall of our relationship with other people.

life offers learnings, not depression. life is our teacher, not our punisher.

The Ten Concepts of Life

1. We are here to learn our lessons, and the world is our teacher.

2. The universe has no favourites.

3. Your life is a perfect reflection of your beliefs.

4. The moment you get too attached to things, people, money... you screw it up.

5. What you focus on in life expands.

6. Follow your heart!

7. God is never going to come down from a cloud and say, "You now have permission to be successful!"

8. When you fight life, life always wins.

9. How do you love people? Just accept them.

10. Our mission in life is not to change the world - our mission is to change ourselves.

A VOYAGE FOR LIFE

Life is a collection of mistakes. Since we are young, we are bound to commit mistakes; we are bound to hurt other people and ourselves.

All of us start from immaturity. Consequently, we grow and we mature. As we go along our way, we experience ups and downs. Sometimes, we are burdened. We encounter one problem after the other. It’s like a chain of trials and hardships. Worst is, the more we grow, the bigger problems get.

Growth is painful; but it is more painful when we resist it.

Fear accompanies hardship. But the only way to beat fear is to face it. Because we are always attracting the learning experiences we need, we often attract the experiences that we fear. Therefore, if we are scared witless of being in debt, chances are we'll get to find out all about it. If we fear loneliness, we'll attract that. If we fear embarrassment, we'll fall on our face. It's life’s way of encouraging us to grow.

When does life get simpler?

It doesn't! But we can learn to handle it better.

Good thing to know that there are people who are willing to share their time with us. Every person who walks into our life is a teacher. Even if they drive us nuts, they teach us because they show us where our limits are. And no matter how we hate them, by the end of the day, we are still thankful that they have passed by our lives.

In this journey called life, we need to stand steadfast and face with all our might the hindrances of our growth. The universe rewards effort, not excuses. Thus, we must learn to plant so that we may sow the good seeds of our effort.

All is but within us. Let us seek our most inward self. Let us not find ourselves in the world. Instead, let us seek for the world within ourselves. Let us always look for a fixed point; something that we know is stable…OURSELVES.

Usually, the best place to have a new start is right where we are!

*          *          *

Life is but a collection of mistakes. We are imperfect. We are bound to commit mistakes. But omnibus of these mistakes is what we call EXPERIENCE – and it is what life is all about.

OPENING SALVO

everybody in this world always wants their ideas to be heard, their thoughts to share.

i am just a simple girl living a simple kind of life. i not a good person. but i am not bad either. but mind you people, don't dare mess with me. no one knows me, except for my friends and the real people who have shared their lives with me.

i am bubbly. i am cheerful. i love to talk. and when i talk, i want people to listen. my ideas are not brilliant. they are nonsense, actually. but still, such ideas are products of my vivid imagination. and you people must respect it in any ways, whether you agree with me or not.

my words matter. so do yours. you talk. i will listen. you give comments. i will accept it. but in my world, no room for non-constructive criticisms. if you talk just because you want to insult me, or any of my friends, beware. you don't know the depth of the words that come out of my mouth.

there's only one rule we all have to follow. RESPECT ONE ANOTHER. in such way, we'll all have smooth relationship :).

always live, laugh and love.

* peace out! *